Can't Escape the Dark
by Koji Inari
Summary: Kouichi loves his brother, but he can't escape what he's so willingly accepted in his heart. Angst, Suicide. Mild Yaoi KouichiXKouji ONESHOT


-1**Title: **Can't Escape the Dark

**Rating: **M

**Prompt: **Void.

**Genre: **Angst

**Music: **3 Days Grace: Animal I have become

**Author's Note**: I've recently ventured across this place on Live Journal called prompt a day. It intrigued me, so I decided to try it out once in a while. Of course, I'm not going to write a one-shot a day. If I did, I'd have to drop all my stories and I'm not about to do that. So please enjoy my prompt fics that I'll come up with every once in a while. I'm still debating weather to make a collection of one-shots or if I should just do them all separate.

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I always knew that there had to be something out there beyond my current life.

I just never realized that it could be so _empty._

The darkness that enveloped me felt so good. It was cold yes, but it was also isolated. If no one could get at me, I could never be hurt. If I gave over to the darkness I'd become strong, I wouldn't feel so alone if I accepted the loneliness. I guess it was just a type of reverse psychology. If I became what I feared, I'd no longer fear it, and it couldn't hurt me.

So many ifs, and so many wrong answers.

There was only one thing that tore open my dark envelope. Only one thing that kept me from receding into it and letting go of my soul. My shining wolf, that lance of light that kept me from going over the edge. He was so beautiful, and even though he was a mirror image of myself, he was so much better, my ideal in every way. He was unaffected by my fears, callused to the hardships and disdain of the world. He was perfect.

And he was my enemy. As much as I loved him, my twin brother, I could never be like him. I had chosen the darkness to make me strong, to keep those fears of mine at bay. I was as scared of my power as I was of the light, but at least the power was mine. At least I had some control in this empty spiral of doubt and fear.

And so I fought him, my twin, my opposite. He threatened my "happiness". My light must die before I could truly recede into the dark recesses of my mind. He had to lose his soul before I could lose mine.

We clashed time and again, light against dark, good versus evil. But who was who would have to be left to the spectator, as both of us had goals equally pure.

He wanted to live, and I wanted to die.

"Kouichi!" cried my reflection. He stood maybe 1 meter away from me, anger visible on his face. "Wake up!"

"Kou-ji" I struggled out. Talking was hard, it clouded my thoughts and disturbed the peaceful darkness in my head. It let my fears in.

Kouji took a few steps forward, coming closer and disturbing my darkness further, tearing it apart. "Kouichi wake up! Wake up you asshole!"

My eyes opened slowly, taking a long time to adjust to the dim light. Kouji kneeled next to me, his hand poised to strike my face. Upon seeing that I was awake, he pulled my body to him, cradling me in his arms. "God damn it you scared me." he croaked. "I thought you had died. Don't you ever do that to me again!"

"Kou-ji?" I asked. He responded only by hugging me tighter, restricting my breathing. I continued to stare out over his shoulder, not capable of fully grasping what was going on. My body hurt, it felt as if I had been hit by a truck. But what hurt the most was my heart, it felt as if an ember had slowly burned a hole right through it, and now that ember was slowly burning its way through my stomach.

Sickness suddenly overtook me, and I pushed away from my brother so I could vomit, but my stomach was empty. Shakily I raised a hand to wipe my mouth, the taste of bile was still in my throat.

My twin came up behind me, gently rubbing the bare skin of my back. Once again I felt the urge to puke, and once again I came up empty. We sat like that, me on all fours trying to choke up food that wasn't there, and Kouji trying to comfort me by rubbing my back and occasionally hugging me. One last time I heaved, feeling a little mucus and flem com up, and this time Kouji and I were both surprised to find blood.

"Kouichi? Are you going to be ok?" Kouji's hand moved from my back to wipe away some of my mussed up hair, I glanced at him then back at the ground with soulless eyes.

"I…I don't feel so good Kouji. I…I hurt…" My eyes wandered to an empty bottle that had been knocked to the floor. Kouji followed my gaze and slumped when he saw the container.

"Kouichi, you didn't. Please tell me you didn't." He picked up the bottle to read the label, but it was too dark to see. He didn't need to read it though, the bottle was a bright transparent orange, the kind they use for prescription medication. "You did…shit…how many pills did you swallow?"

I shook my head, trying to get rid of the fuzzy darkness just long enough to answer my beloved's question. But although I tried my hardest, I couldn't concentrate enough to remember.

"I'm calling an ambulance." Kouji announced, reaching for the phone, but my arm shot out on it's own accord, stopping him.

"Don't" I croaked.

He watched me with nervous eyes, taking in my pathetic naked form. Silently I pleaded with him using my eyes, trying to relay the message that it was over, that I had lost.

I pulled weakly on his arm, trying to get him to come closer to me. He faltered a moment, but came down to meet me. "Kouichi?" he asked.

My vision was swimming, making movement hard, but somehow I managed to sit up so I could meet him face to face. I grabbed his head and brought it close to mine, crushing my lips against his. Tears were flowing freely now, running down my cheeks and getting all over Koiji's angelic face, but I didn't care, I just desperately wanted him to know how much I loved him before it was too late.

He didn't move, he didn't react, he just let me kiss him tenderly as my mind began to fade. It was a perfect moment, one that would last for the rest of my life.

The last thing I felt before slipping into the dark void was his tear hitting my skin, and his hands wrapping around my body. I was beyond hearing, but I could feel the vibration of his voice against my skin. The last thought to enter my mind as I drifted off to that void, was '_I'm sorry Kouji, I wasn't strong enough to live with the light.'_


End file.
